Robert Mugabe , who resigned as President of Zimbabwe yesterday, will be remembered for his sweet quotes.
Anyway, which one is your pick for the end of the year?
1–A girl can be 21 with 2 kids while another one can be 18 with 3 abortions but the society will judge the 21 year old simply because her decisions are visible.
2–Most men cheat with their wedding ring on their finger. And you think your boyfriend won’t cheat coz YOU’RE his profile picture??
3–We are living in a generation where lovers are free to touch each others private parts but cannot touch each others phone.
4–All I hear is “NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE”. If that was God’s plan then u would have receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.
5–Dating a slim/ slender guy is cool, the only problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.
6–Love is when your boyfriend catches you naked with another man and says honey dress up and we go home.
7–Some girls of today can’t jog for five minutes, but they expect a guy to last in bed with them for 2 hours. Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade.
8–Women with beauty and no brains, its your private part that suffers the most.
9–Whenever things start going on well in your life, the devil comes along and gives u a girlfriend.
10—Teachers are my friend and I feel for Women who are married to Teachers, instead of finding money in the pocket when washing, they find Chalk or list of noise makers.
11– ON EARNING: Never depend on single income.Make investment to create a second chance.
12. ON SPENDING: If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things
13. ON SAVINGS: Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
14. ON TAKING RISK: Never test the depth of a river with both feet.
15. ON INVESTMENT: Do not put all eggs in one basket.
16. ON EXPECTATIONS: Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.
17. IF YOU are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. Past is a waste paper. Present is a newspaper and future is a question paper.
18. WHEN bad things happen in your life you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you.
19. EMPTY pockets teach you a million things in life but full pockets spoil you in a million ways.
20. OUR EYES are in the front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.
21. WE USED a pencil when we were small but now we use pens…do you know why? Because mistakes in childhood can be erased but not now.
22-Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than sending it to your mum and you realize witchcraft is real
23-You need at least 1 witness to prove a murder case & a minimum of 2 witnesses to register a marriage, It clarifies which one is more dangerous.
24-A woman with only a beautiful face is only good for a night, but a woman with a beautiful heart is good for a lifetime. Ladies mind the way you handle and present yourself out there because it speaks so much about who you are. If you treat yourself cheaply, you will attract many useless, fake and irresponsible people (men) around you and if you treat yourself with dignity, you will attract a few sensible and serious people around you.
25-Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that will wipe your buttocks today can be the part that will wipe your face tomorrow.
26-The way relationships dont last these days. It’s even safe to celebrate a one week anniversary.
27-Only a black man will have unprotected sex with a girl he just met at the Club,then get in his car and put on a safety belt like he didn’t try to kill himself a minute ago!
28-An expensive weave can never reduce the effect of cheap brains….
29-MARY was a virgin and she married a carpenter (JOSEPH). YOU are not a virgin and you are waiting for a billionaire to marry you.
30-Some girls are funny, they will tell guy that “It’s over between us “When the guy says Okay, she will be like “Just Like That?” What were you expecting???? Closing Ceremony??
31-Dear ladies, The silence you keep when you find money in your husband’s pockets during laundry,kindly do the same when you find condoms.
32-The festive season is upon us, accidents take seconds to happen but suffering lasts a life time. Helmets and Condoms should be worn on appropriate heads during the respective rides, especially on vehicles that don’t belong to you.
33-Church sisters be refusing Church brothers saying “No you are my brother” For your own info: Even your mother and father are brother and sister in Christ.
34-Someone who unplugs your phone charging at 3% to plug his at 97% is capable of killing you
35-Some Girls will be like: “I cannot cook, my mom didn’t teach me” Well, my sister tell me who taught you dog style??
36-Remind your man that when he’s busy looking for a new woman, you are also new to another man..
37-When nails grow old, we cut nails not fingers. Similarly when misunderstanding grows up, cut your ego not your relationship.
38-Every man wants to marry a decent lady. Question is who will marry the ones you spoil?
39-Don’t focus on your wife’s faults, they are the ones that prevented her from getting a better husband.
40-Girls are so clever…they can introduce 3 Boyfriends to each other at the same time without causing a fight…She will be like ; My love, meet my sweetheart and my one and only boo…and you will see the 3 idiots smiling at each other and say Hi boss what’s good.
41-Men can be heartless; they will use you, Use your body, Damage your reputation then marry a beautiful wife, Become born again & Use you as a testimony in church, That’s when you know the devil lives Among us.
42-Married people with kids and careers find time to have affairs. Don’t let a single person tell you they’re too busy for you..
43-If a guy dumps or breaks your heart, take his phone and leave. Call his Mother and tell Her he is dead….you are actually calling from the accident scene….. then switch off that phone.You cannot be crying alone. She must also feel the pain for not raising him well.
44-A woman should NOT feed a man!! The last time it happened, we were all sent out of the Garden of Eden.
45-Help a girl when she is in trouble and she will surely remember you when she is in trouble again!
46-Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul heals. Your happiness is always going to come back. Bad times don’t last.
47-A woman that loves you will stick with you no matter how much a player you are. And that “woman” is your mother.
48-Ladies now feel shy to breast feed babies but feel no rumors to display their breast outside in the name of fashion just to attract men my sister breast was designed to feed hungry babies not for pageant parade
49-Apologize when you’re wrong. Be silent when you’re right. Ask if you’re not sure. Admit it when you make a mistake. Forgive when you’re wronged. You’ll have wonderful marriage.
50-They say milk gives strength. I have drunk 4 cups of milk and i gwas not even able to move a wall. But when i drank 4 bottles of beer, i saw walls moving themselves. Hmm these scientists should stop their lies!